Changes in weather. Changes in self.

It seemed that Fall came in just one day here in Oregon. On Thursday, the leaves fell, the wind picked up and the temperature plummeted to a chilly fifty degrees. Brett and I awoke early Sunday morning to a gentle rain caressing the roof of the cabin and the fields that surround us.

We are in Oregon. The rain has started.

I told Brett, "This rain will likely continue through April. I got up and put my robe on and made us a pot of coffee, listening to the softness of the rain as it smothers everything in a fresh newness.

As I drive through the wetness to work this morning, I listen to the DJ's proclaim a sunny afternoon. With a laugh, I turn up the speed on my windshield wipers to wipe away the increasing cloud of rain splashing against the glass.

At lunch, I scurried outside for a quick walk and was surprised to see the beautiful sun shining in the blue sky. The radio DJ's had been right! The crisp air made me shiver but the sun rays warmed my goose bumps. Fall is so beautiful in Oregon. The mountains turn red. The crows and squirrels forage in the grass for winter food. The smell of freshly dampened dirt fills my senses with an old familiarity that I hadn't experienced for two years.

We prepare for our two year anniversery this Friday from the day we left Oregon to set out on our adventure. We plan to celebrate our jump off the cliff to unknown. Maybe a sail on a rental boat at Fern Ridge? Maybe an overnight visit to our favorite marina, Winchester Bay? Perhaps we'll go visit the lovely town of Newport and walk the docks.

This last two weeks, I have focused on improving my life with improving my happiness through my attitude and thought processes. I feel good about my improvements. About my motivation to learn more positives and to think less negatives. To decrease my "stinking thinking" that I've learned in my book, "The Soft Addiction Solution: Break Free of the Seemingly Harmless Habits That Keep You from the Life You Want" by Judith Wright.

I took Brett's challenge and have stood in front of the mirror every day to announce myself a happy person. This can be hard to do when you don't believe it but the lesson is that you will believe it when you tell yourself for twenty eight days. You start to believe it and you start to live it.

Most days, I glance at myself in the rearview mirror of the car for my daily task. "I AM a happy person." I laugh, because, as I tell myself these things, I notice the lines and dark circles under my eyes. The thoughts of worry race through my mind as I look into my own eyes. But last night, I see my face brightened. Lighter. Prettier. Happier. It works. It really works.


Peace. Positive. Serenity. Simplicity. Happiness. Not surface, material happiness. Happiness within myself.

My uncle challenged me to write down 100 gratitudes. Wow. I sat Sunday morning with my coffee and fuzzy new robe and scribbled on the yellow pad. I made it to 47. I told Brett how hard it was. He said, "No. You could go to a thousand. " I sipped my strong coffee and rolled my eyes at him. As I shook my finger back and forth, I responded, "What? Like, I am so grateful for my... fingernail?"

He said, "Yes. That is the key. You learn to be grateful for every single thing in your life. Even the electricity that runs through the toaster you are grateful for that gives you toast that you are grateful for that is from the loaf of bread that you are grateful for that was bought with the money from the job you are grateful for." I pursed my lips and raised my eyebrows at the interesting idea.

We talked about his vision of gratitude versus my own contemplation of deeper meanings to the gratitudes. It was interesting to join our two views on gratefullness.

I will save my 47 gratitudes and try again, soon. I will save my gratitudes and learn to remember them over my "stinking thinking" that I have come to learn about.

Thoughts today...

Worry. My plague. I worry. I worry a lot. I make myself sick with worry... My body churns and aches and I am drained. I cannot think or work or play or sleep when I worry.

What does this accomplish? Doesn't everything happen whether I worry about it or not? Does my worrying that makes me sick affect the future? No. It doesn't change anything. 95% of the time, the things I worry about don't amount to anything. It does nothing but diminish my health and my well-being in the present.

Positives to think about...
Live now. It is what it is. Make the most of now. Experience life. I will never be as beautiful as I am now.

I think about Brett's suggestions from his past counseling of standing in front of a mirror every day for twenty eight days and saying to MYSELF, "I am a happy person". To smile at myself. It will happen. I will be a happy person... I am a happy person.

Day 1: 9/12/08
I AM A HAPPY PERSON

Hurricane Ike threatening Palacios

Brett and I sit, helpless and anxious, in Oregon as we watch Hurricane Ike approaching our friends in Palacios. I heard from Rebecca and they are evacuating Palacios as well as much of the Gulf Coast in Texas. I talked to Truda at the park and they are calm but worried about the potential of this hurricane. There is an expected 14.5 foot tide surge to enter the bay, which covers the park/marina clear up to Main St.... This would be disastrous for the town and for our friends' boats as the floating docks would probably come off their piles with that high a surge......


My heart aches and I cry as I think about each person in Palacios that has become like family to Brett and I.


Our boat looks safe for the moment and we can only pray that if the hurricane veers East, that Keith will be there to take care of the boats...

My nerves are raw and I am a wreck. I've never felt this kind of anxiety before. The anxiety that hurricanes cause as I think about my friends evacuating their homes and leaving their boats to mother nature. As we leave our own boat in the hands of mother nature...

Brett went to the doctor yesterday and is going to have to make some changes. It is a blessing that we are here in Oregon where we know our doctors and he can concentrate on this lifestyle change before we head back down to the boat. He seems to have COPD. It is caused usually by smoking and damages the lungs...

Mama and baby deer in Rick's field on our porch...
We have been staying at Brett's old boss' place in a cabin on their property and it has been great. They have beautiful property and the cabin is perfect with a bathtub and everything! Well- Except we still need a stove. LOL But we have a microwave! We've been enjoying the solitude and the space of our own place. Brett has been helping them fix up the farm where we are at. I enjoy the commute to work every day. Hardly any traffic or lights. We drive slowly down a gravel road by a pasture every day and I talk to the cows and sheep as they lay under huge walnut trees, chewing their cud.





I have gotten a new (used) guitar to start learning again. It's a Fender Catalina. I have read excellent reviews about this acoustic guitar.

It is a very nice guitar and is doing wonderful. I am so excited to be able to play guitar and have been teaching myself every day. Even Brett, Ray and Debra (my aunt and uncle) played with it on our camping trip.

The camping trip was wonderful- The lush green forest of old growth and maples smelled wonderful. The water of the McKenzie river rushing by our campsite, crystal clear and cold as ice. We gazed at the stars, even seeing the Milky Way through the trees. We watched shooting stars together and pointed out the satellites as they soared through the dark sky. We hiked through trails and rode bikes down old roads. The time went fast but it was great. Brett did a lot of fly fishing and caught many fish. He even caught the largest fish he'd ever caught on the river! It was catch and release only, though, and he had to regretfully let the little guy wiggle out of his hands and back to the rushing water.

I put a bunch of pictures of our camping trip so my friends on the Gulf Coast can enjoy some of our beautiful home state just as my friends in Oregon enjoyed our lovely pictures of the Gulf Coast this last year...

Look! A tree hugger!

I will keep everyone in my prayers as we watch the hurricane...

Where are we, anyway?

We are in Oregon and getting back to the old grinds we were in before we left in 2006. Our friends and coworkers have been amazingly gracious as we invade their lives once again. Rick and Elaine have generously loaned us vehicles and even a place to stay during our time back in Oregon. My family has also helped out immensely as we struggle to get back on our feet.

It's been extremely difficult for us to adjust back to our old lives when we've lived as boat people for so long. Both of us are struggling to keep positive, trying to just focus on our overall goal to getting back to the boat in January. But we were welcomed back by our family and friends and it has been nice to be in our home state again.

We had driven almost 2700 miles in 2 1/2 days!! It was a fast and long commute but it was fun to see a different part of the country we'd not seen. We drove through Lousiana, Texas, up through Oklahoma, Kansas, Colorado, Wyoming, Utah Idaho and then Oregon (did I miss any?)

Hurricane Gustav had both of us in knots as we prayed that our boat was tied well enough. Several scenarios had us on edge.

I forced Brett to explain to me in great detail the real worries of a hurricane with Benevolence. He reluctantly shared his concerns. If the high winds caused the wind generator's shunt to break, it could overcharge the batteries and cause a fire. Our mast and shrouds could entangle with the boats next to us. Our boat was literally squeezed into a slip in between two other boats. We had cushioned our boat with multiple fenders but it wouldn't stop the masts from entangling. Brett also explained in great detail about the likliehood of the water rising and causing the boat to swing forward into the dock and land.

I was also worried about our new friends in Cypremort on the Vermillion Bay in Lousiana. They were also in the path of this monster.

We had hastily left our phone number with a sailor we'd met during the night we'd packed everything into the rental. We were hoping he'd remembered us as the storm made a direct path for Lake Pontchartrain. But we had not heard from him and were not going to rely on him still being at the marina. The slight chance he'd be there was of little comfort.

For days, I felt sick and nervous. We talked about Brett flying down to New Orleans and being with our floating home during the storm. I made arrangements to pay for the high priced airline ticket if need be.

On Saturday, we awoke and sat in our chairs watching the weather channel with Grandma. The hurricane had been almost a category 5 when it hit Cuba, the highest category for a hurricane. It only fell 5mph short... I teared up as I watched the path veer toward Lake Pontchartrain. I contemplated the possibility of the hurricane surpassing category 5 as it made its way over the warm water of the Gulf....

We tried to continue our day without worrying. Brett and Nathan went fishing and I spent the day with Shannon. We went to the Saturday Market and picked grandma up some flowers and Shannon some soap. When we returned to grandma's house, I grabbed the cell phone I'd left charging on my bookcase and checked for voicemails.

My mouth dropped open as I listened to the strange new voice on the voicemail. "Yes, this is Keith Hobbs. I met you at the marina when you left and told you I'd watch your boat. I'd like to tie up some more lines and let you know that I would be here to ride out the storm on my own boat. Please call me."

I called him back and we talked about what he might do to prepare for the hurricane. He said our boat looked tied well, that he just wanted to add a line to the stern, across the marina to the center dock to help keep her off our dock. I asked him to tie off the wind generator and I'd have Brett call him that night so they could talk. I thanked him over and over. I hung up and cried, thanking God that he'd sent us our guardian angel for the boat.

I spent the day nervously waiting for Brett to get back from fishing so I could tell him the news.

When he got back, he called Keith and they discussed keys and lines and the generator, etc. Keith was moving his boat to the middle of the marina to give it space to rock back and forth.

Sunday, we sat and stared at the tv as the hurricane made its way toward Louisiana. It had downgraded to a category 3 but was expected to speed back up. We spent the day trying not to think about it.

On Monday morning I struggled to open the internet. It turned on just long enough to let us see that Gustav hit as a category 2. It had actually diminished! I looked up Mandeville's weather to see what had happened and it didn't look too bad. The storm had veered just West of us.

Later, Keith called and I talked to him. He said everyone had fared well at the marina. They did have quite a surge, the water about two feet over the street which was another few feet above the docks. He said they had between 75-80 mph winds but everything survived well. He praised Brett's job on tying our boat. They had used our dinghy to move around boats to the middle of the marina. They ended up moving the boat next to us so we had no boats next to us during the storm and were free from masts and shrouds. I tried to convey our appreciation to Keith again before we hung up.

I cried again, overwhelmed by the stress of the last few days.

The boat made it in better shape than I did through the hurricane.