Changes in weather. Changes in self.

It seemed that Fall came in just one day here in Oregon. On Thursday, the leaves fell, the wind picked up and the temperature plummeted to a chilly fifty degrees. Brett and I awoke early Sunday morning to a gentle rain caressing the roof of the cabin and the fields that surround us.

We are in Oregon. The rain has started.

I told Brett, "This rain will likely continue through April. I got up and put my robe on and made us a pot of coffee, listening to the softness of the rain as it smothers everything in a fresh newness.

As I drive through the wetness to work this morning, I listen to the DJ's proclaim a sunny afternoon. With a laugh, I turn up the speed on my windshield wipers to wipe away the increasing cloud of rain splashing against the glass.

At lunch, I scurried outside for a quick walk and was surprised to see the beautiful sun shining in the blue sky. The radio DJ's had been right! The crisp air made me shiver but the sun rays warmed my goose bumps. Fall is so beautiful in Oregon. The mountains turn red. The crows and squirrels forage in the grass for winter food. The smell of freshly dampened dirt fills my senses with an old familiarity that I hadn't experienced for two years.

We prepare for our two year anniversery this Friday from the day we left Oregon to set out on our adventure. We plan to celebrate our jump off the cliff to unknown. Maybe a sail on a rental boat at Fern Ridge? Maybe an overnight visit to our favorite marina, Winchester Bay? Perhaps we'll go visit the lovely town of Newport and walk the docks.

This last two weeks, I have focused on improving my life with improving my happiness through my attitude and thought processes. I feel good about my improvements. About my motivation to learn more positives and to think less negatives. To decrease my "stinking thinking" that I've learned in my book, "The Soft Addiction Solution: Break Free of the Seemingly Harmless Habits That Keep You from the Life You Want" by Judith Wright.

I took Brett's challenge and have stood in front of the mirror every day to announce myself a happy person. This can be hard to do when you don't believe it but the lesson is that you will believe it when you tell yourself for twenty eight days. You start to believe it and you start to live it.

Most days, I glance at myself in the rearview mirror of the car for my daily task. "I AM a happy person." I laugh, because, as I tell myself these things, I notice the lines and dark circles under my eyes. The thoughts of worry race through my mind as I look into my own eyes. But last night, I see my face brightened. Lighter. Prettier. Happier. It works. It really works.


Peace. Positive. Serenity. Simplicity. Happiness. Not surface, material happiness. Happiness within myself.

My uncle challenged me to write down 100 gratitudes. Wow. I sat Sunday morning with my coffee and fuzzy new robe and scribbled on the yellow pad. I made it to 47. I told Brett how hard it was. He said, "No. You could go to a thousand. " I sipped my strong coffee and rolled my eyes at him. As I shook my finger back and forth, I responded, "What? Like, I am so grateful for my... fingernail?"

He said, "Yes. That is the key. You learn to be grateful for every single thing in your life. Even the electricity that runs through the toaster you are grateful for that gives you toast that you are grateful for that is from the loaf of bread that you are grateful for that was bought with the money from the job you are grateful for." I pursed my lips and raised my eyebrows at the interesting idea.

We talked about his vision of gratitude versus my own contemplation of deeper meanings to the gratitudes. It was interesting to join our two views on gratefullness.

I will save my 47 gratitudes and try again, soon. I will save my gratitudes and learn to remember them over my "stinking thinking" that I have come to learn about.